9.2.1 Self-disclosure

• Self-disclosure is the act of revealing personal information about the self to another person
• The nature of self-disclosure and how much is revealed will depend on a number of factors:
  • The person to whom the details are disclosed e.g. a romantic partner
  • The stage of the relationship e.g. in the first few weeks; after several months; after several years (even though self-disclosure is a factor in attraction it still continues as the relationship progresses)
  • The person who is disclosing the information e.g. they may be a naturally confident, outgoing person or they may be naturally shy and reticent
  • The nature of the details being disclosed e.g. these may be banal e.g. ‘I went to St Freud’s school’ or controversial e.g. ‘I have spent time in prison’
  • The reasons behind the self-disclosure e.g. to cement a bond of trust between the partners perhaps or maybe to encourage self-disclosure from the other person (known as reciprocity)
• Self-disclosure is not a set and stable type of communication: it is likely to vary per individual depending on their age, their relationship status, their profession, their mood etc.

Are you an over-sharer or are you more discreet in your self-disclosure?

• Social Penetration Theory (SPT) suggested by Altman & Taylor (1973) describes the process of self-disclosure, beginning with shallow levels of disclosure and gradually progressing deeper as the person reveals evermore private information, thoughts, desires, hopes, secrets to the other person
• The SPT model is shown below:

Figure 1: Social Penetration Theory

• • Superficial self-disclosure might include details of where someone lives; their job; their hobbies; the information has some breadth but not much depth
  • Intimate self-disclosure might include someone’s ambitions; previous relationship history; a fall-out they had with their mother
  • Personal self-disclosure starts to go deeper into areas such as hopes; desires; mistakes made in the past; insecurities etc.
  • Core self-disclosure has real depth and possibly less breadth as someone may only have a few (or choose to disclose only a few) details which are buried deep within the layers of their psyche e.g. their innermost fears, something they feel guilty or embarrassed about; something that risks rejection from their partner
  • As each layer is ‘peeled’ away the relationship (according to SPT) becomes stronger

• Social Comparison Theory (SCT) suggested by Festinger (1954) describes the ways in which an individual will assess their own worth and value by comparing themselves to others
  • Upward comparison occurs when someone feels that others (or specifically their partner) are superior to them e.g. better-looking; richer; more intelligent
  • Downward comparison occurs when someone feels that others (or specifically their partner) are inferior to them e.g. less interesting; not as well-dressed; less athletic
  • Someone may disclose personal information about themselves to a potential (or even existing) partner to gauge their reaction e.g. ‘Have I made myself look silly? Are they impressed?’
  • Someone may make disclosures about their achievements which could lead to self-validation if the person being disclosed to responds with praise and admiration
  • Someone may disclose information about their beliefs and values to determine the extent to which they are similar or different to the other person; whether these beliefs and values are acceptable or unacceptable

How does self-disclosure affect attraction & relationships in general?

• SPT argues that self-disclosure is essential if a relationship is to develop and thrive
• SPT claims that self-disclosure is a kind of ‘glue’ that holds a relationship together as it creates trust between partners plus it reinforces the special bond that the couple have
• Self-disclosure can be risky: if one person discloses and the other person then fails to follow through with their own disclosure it can unbalance a relationship and lead to inequality in terms of trust
• Disclosing high-risk personal details (possibly involving illegal or immoral features) to another person gives that person some power and can put the discloser in a position of vulnerability which is why the SPT model suggests that only low-level details are disclosed at first
• SCT suggests that people engage in social comparison via self-disclosure which allows each partner to determine whether or not they are interested in pursuing a relationship
• The SCT explanation of self-disclosure is that each person provides a kind of mirror which reflects back the image of the discloser by either affirming or denying each partner’s self-image (and, as a result of this, their self-esteem)

Research which investigates self-disclosure

• Collins & Miller (1994) - a meta-analysis which showed that self-disclosure plays an important role in the maintenance of relationships
• Lippert & Prager (2001) -  113 cohabiting completed questionnaires and kept diaries of their interactions: the results showed that couples with higher levels of mutual self-disclosure expressed more satisfaction with their relationship than couples who disclosed less
• Tang et al. (2013) - American couples reported making more intimate/sexual disclosures than couples in China; relationship satisfaction was high, however, in both cultures which shows that self-disclosure has cultural variations i.e. the SPT model may be culturally biased

Evaluation of self-disclosure 

Strengths

• Self-disclosure has good application  - at least in Westernised nations: with its emphasis on open communication it can be used to guide and inform relationship counselling
• The rewards of using self-disclosure wisely are not confined to romantic relationships:: it can help to build and maintain friendships, family bonds, professional relationships etc.

Weaknesses

• Self-disclosure is a difficult variable to operationalise as it is open to subjective interpretation which means that associated theories lack the features of science
• Self-disclosure theories do not explain how some relationships do not follow the ‘rules’ and yet remain healthy e.g. one partner discloses a lot while the other partner rarely discloses anything of any great importance or depth

Link to Issues & Debates:

Self-disclosure could be said to fall under the free will side of the determinism/free will debate as it is up to the individual as to what they choose to disclose and how much they disclose and to whom.