Shakespeare: Model Answers (AQA GCSE English Literature)

Below, you will find a full-mark, Level 6 model answer for a Shakespeare essay. The commentary below each section of the essay illustrates how and why it would be awarded Level 6. Despite the fact it is an answer to a Macbeth question, the commentary below is relevant to any Shakespeare question.

As the commentary is arranged by assessment objective, a student-friendly mark scheme has been included here:

Assessment Objective	Number  of marks	Meaning
AO1	12	Write a clear essay with a central argument based on your own opinions All parts of the essay must directly answer the question Select quotations and references from both the extract and the rest of the play Quotations must be accurate and provide evidence for the points you make in your argument
AO2	12	Use analysis of Shakespeare’s choices to support your argument Evidence can be analysis of the language used by Shakespeare, as well as the form and structure of the play Include terminology on writers’ techniques only when techniques are explained fully and relevant to your argument
AO3	6	Use contextual ideas and perspectives to support your argument and to provide further insight into Shakespeare’s choices
AO4	4	Use specialist terminology and key vocabulary throughout your essay Structure your essay clearly, and spell and punctuate correctly

Model Answer Breakdown

The commentary for the below model answer as arranged by assessment objective: each paragraph has a commentary for a different assessment objective, as follows:

• The introduction includes commentary on all the AOs
• Paragraph 1 includes commentary on AO1 (answering the question and selecting references)
• Paragraph 2 includes commentary on AO2 (analysing the writer’s methods)
• Paragraph 3 includes commentary on AO3 (exploring context)
• The conclusion includes commentary on all the AOs

The model answer answers the following question:

Shakespeare presents Lady Macbeth as a female character who changes dramatically over the course of the play: she changes from a ruthless, remorseless woman who is able to manipulate her husband, to one that is sidelined by Macbeth and, ultimately, totally consumed by guilt. Shakespeare is perhaps suggesting that unchecked ambition and hubris, particularly for women, have fatal consequences.

Commentary:

• The introduction is in the form of a thesis statement
• It includes a central argument based on my own opinions
• It includes keywords from the question:
  • "Shakespeare presents Lady Macbeth as a female character who changes dramatically over the course of the play"
• It takes a whole-text approach, referencing changes across the whole play:
  • "she changes from a ruthless, remorseless woman who is able to manipulate her husband, to one that is sidelined by Macbeth and, ultimately, totally consumed by guilt."
• It acknowledges Shakespeare as an author making deliberate choices and conveying a message:
•  "Shakespeare is perhaps suggesting that ..."
• It includes modal language to show a conceptualised approach

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Lady Macbeth’s strength – and ability to command and manipulate those around her – dramatically diminishes from the first time the audience sees her, in Act I, Scene V, to the last time, here in Act V, Scene I. The first time she is presented to the audience, Lady Macbeth is presented as a very untypical woman: far from being a dutiful and subservient wife, she is shown to be plotting on Macbeth’s behalf, speaks of him disparagingly (she worries he is too kind to carry out her plan), and is presented as having power over both Macbeth and her surroundings. This dominance can be seen in her use of imperatives, both when she is directing Macbeth to disguise his true intentions to Duncan (and be a “serpent underneath”), and later, more forcefully, when she orders Macbeth to “give” her the daggers. This shows that Lady Macbeth has almost assumed the dominant position in their relationship, and taken on the typically ‘male’ characteristics of authority and strength (whereas Macbeth’s “kindness” can here be seen as a sign of weakness). However, there is an irony in Shakespeare’s use of imperatives later in the play: in Act V, Scene I, Lady Macbeth is shown to have lost her power to command those things around her and her use of imperatives (“Out, damned spot! Out, I say”) speaks more of abject desperation than her authority. She has lost the power to command her husband, her surroundings and even her own mind. Shakespeare could be suggesting that the unusual power dynamic presented at the beginning of the play is unnatural, and that, as a woman, Lady Macbeth would never be able to maintain this type of authority without succumbing to madness.

Commentary:

• The paragraph begins with a topic sentence
• Topic sentence directly addresses the question (the “change” the character undergoes)
• Topic sentence has a narrower focus than the thesis statement
• The whole paragraph is related to the topic sentence
• The paragraph includes at least one reference to the extract
• The paragraph includes multiple references to the rest of the play
• All references are linked to the question and support the argument of my topic sentence

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Shakespeare presents Lady Macbeth as a character whose self-control and authority over her own mind evaporates by Act V. We see this in the repetitious and fragmented language Shakespeare has her use in this scene. The repetition of several words and phrases (“to bed”; “come”; “O”) shows a character who is not in control of her own thought processes and has lost agency over her own mind. Shakespeare emphasises this by using contrasting verse forms for Lady Macbeth as the play progresses. Initially, she uses the order and authority of blank verse, which reflects her own power and control. However, in this scene, Lady Macbeth does not use the regular or ordered language of blank verse, but rather the disordered form of prose. This reflects both her loss of status and power (prose is often used by commoners in Shakespeare’s plays), but also her own mental illness. Indeed, the description of her having a “disease” in this scene is ironic, since earlier in the play she describes Macbeth as “brainsickly” and “infirm”: it is now she who is the weaker of the two. Perhaps Shakespeare uses this role reversal once again to suggest that women assuming positions of dominance is unnatural and may lead to mental decline.

Commentary:

• The analysis provides evidence for the points in the topic sentence (all evidence relates to Lady Macbeth’s mental state)
• Whole-text analysis of Shakespeare’s methods, not just focused on the extract
• Not just analysis of Shakespeare’s language, but also of form
• The analysis includes other wider choices made by Shakespeare: 
• Characterisation
• Structure
• All analysis is explained fully in terms of the question and my own argument
• The analysis explained in terms of Shakespeare’s overall message

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Shakespeare presents Lady Macbeth as a character who loses her resolve over the mortal sin of regicide as the play progresses. Initially, Lady Macbeth is presented as a character who believes that both she and her husband will be able to evade the typical consequences of committing a crime – the murder of a king – that would have been seen as truly heinous. Not only is it a crime punishable by death, but the religious consequences would be dire: eternal punishment in Hell. Shakespeare presents her as acknowledging the seriousness of the crime in Act I, Scene V where she references Heaven and Hell prior to the murder of Duncan, but she believes, arrogantly, that she is strong enough to evade capture, as well as cloak herself from feelings of guilt and remorse. Her hubris is also shown later in the play, after the regicide has been committed, when she tells Macbeth that “a little water clears us of this deed”, implying that it will be straightforward to escape the psychological impact of committing a mortal sin. However, by Act V, Scene I Lady Macbeth is shown to have completely lost her resolve, and is haunted by those psychological impacts: she sees blood, which symbolically represents guilt, on her hands, which she cannot wash off. Indeed, later she states that Duncan had “so much blood in him”, an admission that a little water could never have cleansed the guilt from her conscience (“what’s done cannot be undone”). This irony is highlighted again by Shakespeare when Lady Macbeth states that “all the perfumes of Arabia will not sweeten this little hand”, the hyperbole emphasising the enormity of her crime. Shakespeare could be suggesting that no one can escape the psychological and theological consequences of regicide. Indeed, the Doctor states that he has never seen anyone in Lady Macbeth’s state die “holily”, echoing Lady Macbeth’s own earlier reference to Hell.

Commentary:

• Does not include any irrelevant historical or biographical facts
• All context is linked to the topic sentence (“loses resolve over the mortal sin of regicide”) and the argument as a whole
• All context is integrated into analysis of Shakespeare’s methods
• Understanding contextual ideas and perspectives provides additional insight into my main argument
• Context is sometimes implied, rather than explicit. This still shows sophisticated awareness of ideas (here about religion and Hell)

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In conclusion, Shakespeare presents Lady Macbeth as a female character who changes from a character who assumes dominance over her husband and her surroundings, to a woman who loses all agency. Moreover, initially, Shakespeare presents her as a character who seemingly has the mental fortitude to deal with the mortal sin of regicide with a clear conscience, but this mental strength also evaporates. Shakespeare could be issuing a warning to those people who believe they can escape the psychological and theological consequences of sin, especially if they are women who assume an atypical and unnatural position of power.

Commentary:

• The conclusion uses keywords from the question
• The conclusion links to the thesis
• The conclusion sums up more detailed arguments outlined in the topic sentences of all paragraphs
• It also gives a fuller understanding of Shakespeare’s intentions, based on ideas explored in the essay