‘A Consumer’s Report’ in a nutshell
The poem, by Peter Porter, was published in his collection The Last of England in 1970. The poem could be considered a satire that is written from the perspective of a consumer who is reviewing a product that they have purchased.
‘A Consumer’s Report’ breakdown
Lines 1–3
“The name of the product I tested is Life,
I have completed the form you sent me
and understand that my answers are confidential.”
Translation
- The speaker is a consumer filling out a review of a product
Porter’s intention
- This is the first stanza of the poem and it establishes the conceit or overarching theme of consumerism:
- “Life” is treated as a commodity that is subject to scrutiny
- The poem uses an extended metaphor of “Life”, which is the “product” being tested
- The speaker, who can also be called the consumer in this case, is going to review the product they tested and give their opinions
- The language used implies a sense of detachment or impersonality
- This mirrors how consumer feedback forms are often filled out without much thought or emotional investment
- The use of the phrase “my answers are confidential” could be referencing a prayer or an individual’s communications with God or another higher power
Lines 4–12
“I had it as a gift,
I didn’t feel much while using it,
in fact I think I’d have liked to be more excited.
It seemed gentle on the hands
but left an embarrassing deposit behind.
It was not economical
and I have used much more than I thought
(I suppose I have about half left
but it’s difficult to tell) -”
Translation
- The speaker begins to review the “product”, describing how he would rate his life so far
Porter’s intention
- The first line suggests that “Life”, was given to the speaker as “a gift”, without their choice or control:
- This implies a lack of autonomy in the experience of life, highlighting the unpredictable nature of existence
- The speaker claims that they “didn’t feel much”, which suggests a lack of emotional engagement or fulfilment in life:
- The use of the word “using” reinforces the idea of life as a consumable commodity
- The desire to feel more excitement suggests a longing for deeper meaning or satisfaction
- Lines 7–8 employ a vivid and humorous metaphor that likens life to a product that is “gentle on the hands” but leaves behind an “embarrassing” residue or consequence:
- This could symbolise the mundane or routine aspects of life that may seem harmless but ultimately result in undesirable outcomes
- The speaker critiques the “economical” aspect or wastefulness of life, suggesting that they have used more of it than anticipated and are uncertain about how much remains:
- This ambiguity reflects the uncertainty and impermanence of life itself
Line 13–20
“although the instructions are fairly large
there are so many of them
I don't know which to follow, especially
as they seem to contradict each other.
I’m not sure such a thing
should be put in the way of children -
It’s difficult to think of a purpose
Also the price is much too high.”
Translation
- The speaker continues to evaluate the product, here pointing out the difficulties associated with trying to live well
Porter’s intention
- In lines 13–16, the speaker metaphorically likens life to a product with complicated instructions:
- The instructions being “fairly large” implies complexity, suggesting that life is not straightforward or easy to navigate
- It could also suggest that in life it can sometimes be difficult to distinguish right from wrong
- The speaker then goes on to state that the product should not “be put in the way of children”, suggesting that the complexities of existence may be overwhelming or inappropriate for young minds
- The speaker then states that they cannot “think of a purpose” and that the “price is much too high”:
- This adds an economic dimension to the metaphor, suggesting that the costs or sacrifices associated with life may outweigh its value or worth
Lines 21–32
“Things are piling up so fast,
after all, the world got by
for a thousand million years
without this, do we need it now?
(Incidentally, please ask your man
to stop calling me ‘the respondent’,
I don’t like the sound of it.)
There seems to be a lot of different labels,
sizes and colours should be uniform,
The shape is awkward, it’s waterproof
but not heat resistant, it doesn’t keep
yet it’s very difficult to get rid of:”
Translation
- The speaker continues to use consumerist language to critique various aspects of existence
Porter’s intention
- The sentence “things are piling up so fast” sets the tone for the speaker’s frustration with the rapid pace of modern life:
- It suggests a feeling of being overwhelmed or suffocation as the demands and distractions of consumer culture continue to increase
- The speaker then reflects on the long history of the world and questions the necessity of the consumer products and lifestyles being imposed on them in the present:
- The line critiques the relentless pursuit of new products
- Porter is perhaps suggesting that many of them may not be essential for human well-being or survival
- The comment in brackets, or parenthesis, injects a personal note into the poem:
- This highlights the speaker’s discomfort with being reduced to a mere respondent in the consumer feedback process
- It underscores the dehumanising effects of administration and the impersonal nature of consumer culture
- The phrase “your man” could also be referencing God, who refers to the speaker as “the respondent”:
- The use of the term “your man” adds a new power dynamic to the conversation as it could imply that the person is an authority figure, such as God
- The speaker is asserting their independence and autonomy by requesting a change in how they are addressed:
- This could reflect an individual’s desire not to follow an organised religion and to be able to think independently
- The speaker then criticises the product by talking of the “different labels” and “the shape”, which suggests the speaker’s desire for simplicity:
- The product’s awkward shape and lack of functionality symbolise the frustrations and limitations of existence
- Its difficulty to “get rid of” reflects the enduring consequences of consumerism and waste
Lines 33–42
“whenever they make it cheaper they seem
to put less in - if you say you don’t
want it, then it’s delivered anyway.
I’d agree it’s a popular product,
it’s got into the language; people
even say they’re on the side of it.
Personally I think it’s overdone,
a small thing people are ready
to behave badly about. I think
we should take it for granted.”
Translation
- The speaker continues to use consumerist language to critique society’s attitudes and behaviours
Porter’s intention
- The speaker comments on the idea of reducing the quality or quantity of a product to cut costs as the speaker states that “they seem to put less in”:
- The speaker could be implying that some people’s lives are metaphorically emptier than others and how some people are metaphorically “cheaper” than others, implying that their worth in society could be less
- The poem also highlights how an individual is not in control of their life and they do not have a choice as “it’s delivered anyway”:
- The poem could be reinforcing the idea that nobody has the advantage of choosing when and where they are born and that it is beyond anyone’s control even if you “don’t want it”
- The speaker uses words and phrases that could suggest that he’s dejected and disappointed but is trying to look at his life positively:
- Phrases such as “I’d agree” and “Personally I think” reflect his disappointment, highlighting how life has not been easy for him
- The phrase “a small thing people are ready/to behave badly about” implies that people are willing to compromise their principles or morals in life
Lines 42–49
“...If its
experts are called philosophers or market
researchers or historians, we shouldn’t
care. We are the consumers and the last
law makers. So finally, I’d buy it.
But the question of a ‘best buy’
I’d like to leave until I get
the competitive product you said you’d send.’
Translation
- The speaker concludes with their final thoughts on the product
Porter’s intention
- The speaker suggests that regardless of the title or expertise of those who endorse a product, consumers should not be swayed solely by their authority
- Whether they are “philosophers” or “market researchers”, their opinions should not dictate the consumer’s decision-making process:
- The speaker has attempted to take back power by undermining those who have created life by stating that the “consumer” should have the final say
- This statement could also reflect an individual’s desire to create their own rules and way of life rather than following pre-ordained rules:
- This is reinforced when they refer to the “consumers” as “the last law makers”
- These final lines could be seen as the speaker’s act of rebellion and protest against an authority figure:
- This can be seen as an active rejection of God’s authority, or the authority of organised religion
- However, despite the speaker’s complaints, they claim that they would still “buy it” which could reflect the fickleness of human nature and how, ultimately, we are still willing to purchase the product, or live life, regardless of its downsides