Paper 1 Question 5: Creative Writing Model Answer (AQA GCSE English Language)

In Paper 1 Question 5 you will be presented with a choice of two writing tasks and a stimulus image. One task will ask you to write descriptively, most likely based on the image, and the other question will ask you to write a story, based on a statement or title. 

The task requires you to write for a specific purpose and in a specific form. It is important you write in the correct format and use the conventions of this form, as the mark scheme mentions adapting your tone, style and register for different forms, purposes and audiences. 

This means: 

• The tone (sound of the narrator’s ‘voice’) is appropriate and convincing 
• The register (vocabulary and phrasing) is suitable for the purpose
• The style of the writing (sentence structure and overall structure) is dynamic and engaging

Below you will find a detailed creative writing model in response to an example of Paper 1 Question 5, under the following sub-headings (click to go straight to that sub-heading):

• Writing a GCSE English Language story
• Structuring your story
• AO5: Content and organisation
• AO6: Technical accuracy
• Question 5 Level 4 model story
• Why would this story achieve top marks?

Remember, Paper 1 Question 5 is worth 40 marks, broken down into two Assessment Objectives:

AO5 (24 marks) Communicate clearly, effectively and imaginatively, selecting and adapting tone, style and register for different forms, purposes and audiences Organise information and ideas, using structural and grammatical features to support coherence and cohesion of texts

AO6 (16 marks) Use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures for clarity, purpose and effect, with accurate spelling and punctuation

When planning your response, it is a good idea to keep the tone, style and register in mind, as well as the conventions of the form. Here, we will consider how you can produce an effective story with these devices in mind:

Tone

Story writing should develop a sense of character as well as mood. This means you should consider how your narrator or characters would behave and sound.  

In order to craft a tone which builds characterisation and mood, consider: 

• The perspective from which your story will be told: 
• First-person characterisation can include monologues which express the narrator’s thoughts and feelings 
• Third-person characterisation will generally include a description of the character’s appearance and movements
• Choose verbs and adverbs carefully to ‘show’ the character’s reactions
• If you use a third-person omniscient narrator, you can advise the reader of the character’s thoughts and feelings
• Consider how you can use sentence lengths and types in monologue and dialogue, as well as description of setting:
• Short sentences reflect tension and unease, e.g. ‘No sound could be heard’
• Longer sentences and listing can create a sense of being overwhelmed, or of abundance, e.g. ‘The table was laden with apples, grapes, oranges, loaves of bread, chunks of cheese and an array of colourful vegetables’
• Rhetorical questions can suggest confusion, e.g. ‘Would I ever get it right?’

Style and register

The style of your story writing is closely related to the language you use. For example, in a creative writing response, the best answers show evidence of careful word choice and linguistic techniques.

Creative writing helps the reader to visualise the person, place, or situation being described with word choice and linguistic techniques, as well as being taken on a journey.

The best way to do this is to: 

• Use vocabulary which is useful to the reader:
• For example, describing something as ‘great’ or ‘amazing’ is telling rather than showing 
• Use sensory language to bring the scene to life:
• For example, a deserted park at night requires a completely different description from a busy park during the daytime
• Emphasise key ideas or impressions using language techniques and imagery:
• For example, you could use a simile to create associations about size or colour
• Personification is a useful technique when describing weather or objects 
• Ensure you describe the important details:
• For example, you do not need to describe every inch of a person or scene bit by bit, but instead focus on key, interesting features that develops the story or the sense of character

Form

Creative story writing develops an idea to a conclusion. This means your story should have cohesion by planning an ending with a resolution (you should plan whether your story will end happily or not). In the exam, it is best not to plan a complex story which takes place over a long period of time, employs multiple characters and has more than one setting or plot twist.  

In order to adhere to the conventions of story writing, it is best to: 

• Plan your writing in an order which takes your character (and reader) on a clear journey:
• The best way to do this is to plan one main event
• Consider employing structural techniques such as a flashback:
• This can give background information to the reader and provide context
• Ensure you use past-tense verbs for this
• Develop your characters:
• Consider essential narrative characterisations, such as villain, victim, hero etc.
• Decide on how your characters fit this description 
• When describing people, focus on relevant details only:
• You could focus on their body language or movements
• If using dialogue, how your characters speak can reveal more about them than what they say, e.g. “shrieked”, “mumbled”, “whispered”
• It is effective to repeat ideas related to colour
• You can repeat ideas for emphasis, for example, black and grey or green and blue

Overview

Focus on using a range of interesting and ambitious vocabulary; words like ‘amazing’ do not accurately describe places or people Include descriptive detail using a range of sensory language (sight, texture, sound) Ensure your story plot is simple enough to be coherent and cohesive  Write with technical accuracy (full stops, commas, sentence length, spelling, grammar) Vary sentence and paragraph lengths and types to keep the style and tone dynamic

Below is an example of the type of creative writing you may be asked to write in Question 5. This is taken from Language Paper 1 June 2019:

This task asks you to write a story with the title ‘Abandoned’. This means you are required to construct a story based around this idea. The mark scheme rewards original ideas, but the most successful answers are those which develop an idea effectively and engage the reader in a compelling story. 

As this is a longer writing question, you can spend about 5 minutes planning your answer. 

Once you are sure of the form you will write in and you have considered how best to convey the mood and character development to your reader, you can begin to think about how you will order your ideas. 

Creative writing responses should be structured in five or six paragraphs. We have suggested basing your narrative structure on Freytag’s Pyramid:

Remember, each paragraph does not have to be the same length. In fact, better answers vary the lengths of their paragraphs for effect. What is important is to develop separate ideas or points in each paragraph, and avoid repeating the same descriptions throughout your response.

Overview

It is important to plan the order and ‘flow’ of your story You can use ideas read about in the extract in Section A to guide you Story writing should immerse the reader in a scene Do not plan a story with too many characters or events

AO5 (24 marks) Communicate clearly, effectively and imaginatively, selecting and adapting tone, style and register for different forms, purposes and audiences Organise information and ideas, using structural and grammatical features to support coherence and cohesion of texts

Level 4 Response (19-24 marks)

The house was not always dead. I can forlornly recall all of my visits to this once beautiful place. Every summer holiday, my parents brought me to this house, where my grandparents lived, and their parents before them.

Key point	AO5: Convincing and compelling communication, incorporating a range of complex ideas that are assuredly matched to purpose and audience
Language features and techniques	Complex ideas	Introducing a memory creates a personal and emotive tone
		Introduces complex ideas regarding family history
	Matched to purpose	The story builds characterisation with a first-person monologue

Level 4 Response (19-24 marks)

The house had been the epitome of life and joy, and yet it was now dead. It was merely a shadow of its former glory, for the house was no longer alive, and never would be again.

Key point	AO5: sustained crafting and ambitious vocabulary
Language features and techniques	Ambitious vocabulary	The use of “epitome” is a sophisticated without being overly complicated
		The phrase “a shadow if its former glory” uses vocabulary successfully to develop the description
	Sustained crafting	The image of the lively house is contrasted with the word ‘dead’ to add emphasis
		The focus on time adverbials emphasise the change e.g. “now”, “no longer” and “once”

AO6 (16 marks) Use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures for clarity, purpose and effect, with accurate spelling and punctuation

Level 4 Response (13-16 marks)

Sunlight no longer danced through the windows and sounds of laughter were no longer heard; all that was left were the remains of a long since dead house.

Key point	AO6: Full range of appropriate sentence forms with demarcation consistently secure and consistently accurate.
Structural features and techniques	Semi-colon	The separation of the clauses using a semi-colon in this long sentence is effective as the second phrase directly builds on the first

Below is an example of a full-mark Level 4 model story:

Level 4 Response (AO5 - 22-24 marks/AO6 - 13-16 marks)

Abandoned The house had been the epitome of life and joy, and yet it was now dead. It was merely a shadow of its former glory, for the house was no longer alive, and never would be again. Sunlight no longer danced through the windows and sounds of laughter were no longer heard; all that was left were the remains of a long since dead house. Cobwebs littered the wooden slats and broken walls. Dusty light-fittings stared down miserably at a table that would never again be laden with food and fun, with chairs that had not been warm for years. As I stood in the hallway, the silence crept through the empty rooms towards me, mocking me with its quiet. The house was not always dead. I can forlornly recall all of my visits to this once beautiful place. Every summer holiday, my parents brought me to this house, where my grandparents lived, and their parents before them. Living in the city, my summers spent in nature were filled with joy and laughter. The bright sunshine, the gentle winds and the solitude that had been introduced to me in this wonderful place had all come to be things I loved. My sister and I would spend hours climbing the trees surrounding the house, building dens and having endless adventures, before returning, wild and weary, for our family meal and the analysis of the day. But on the day of the accident, everything changed. And nothing changed. The sun was still bright; the wind still gently grazed the trees and the silence felt just as comforting as before. Except it was different. We were different. There was one less chair occupied at the table. There was no one to climb trees with or build dens. In fact, one tree in particular would never be scaled again. In his grief, my grandfather cut it down, hacking it with all of his strength as though he could cut out the event itself. I remember watching from the front window, as he chopped, chopped, chopped until finally, with an almighty shove, the guilty tree creaked and fell. My parents could not watch, locked as they were in their sorrow. We returned to the city, leaving my grandparents and the blame which they bestowed upon them for not making everything safer. I had tried to help them keep up with the chores; handing my grandfather the right bolts and nails for fixing the fence, or helping to paint the house. But the treehouse had seemed so sturdy - so reliable. It seemed impossible that anything bad could happen there. It was twenty years before I returned. At first, I thought I had arrived at the wrong house. I could not match the ruin standing before me with the bright, happy place I had known. Flowers of all colours had filled the elegant front garden, but now there were just weeds. In that one simple house, birthdays had been celebrated, laughs were shared and fireworks were watched. Now, it was a mere shadow. It was no longer alive, and never would be again.